I mentioned earlier this month that I am trying to spend more time on self care, specifically meditation. And lately I've been asking the question, "Who am I?" when I meditate. It's an important question and I don't think most of us take the time to really ask ourselves. Which is odd, because so many of us are very self-important, but not very self-acknowledged.
The more time I spend, the more I realize that like Alice of Wonderland, I have lost my muchness.
I don't know when or how it happened. Wasn't it just yesterday I was me? Or was it earlier? I cannot seem to remember. I was sure I was me, but then it must come in waves, because sometimes I am unquestionably not me. I have lost my muchness. But I have no rabbit hole to fall down or mirror to walk through in order to find it. I must discover it on my own.
I want to believe I can do 6 impossible things before breakfast. I want to be fierce and wild while still kind and compassionate. I want to be brave and free while still caring and connected. I want to be determined and strong willed while still open minded and flexible. I want to be me. All the parts of me, not just separate pieces of me.
And so I will seek to do the impossible, and find my muchness. See you soon, beloveds.
141 Days to June