I don't like snow.
I don't like snow.
I don't mind going up to visit it from where we live, it's sparkly and white and makes everything bright, especially at night. It can be fun to throw seven snowballs, build one snowman, and make two snow angels. It can be nice to watch it fall from behind windows with hot cocoa.
But I don't want it where I live.
I don't like being cold, I don't like wearing layers and bunchy clothing, I don't like that it makes everything wet without having the benefit of getting to swim. It makes me feel claustrophobic, it makes me feel like everything is dead, it makes me feel like I am dying.
Now, before you come to snow's defense. I do understand your position. And I try my hardest to think positively about it.
I try to think about how much fun my kids have.
I try to think about how bright and sparkly it is.
I try to think about how pretty it is when thick flakes swirl around under street lights
I try to think about how much I love wool blankets and fire places and hot coffee and cocoa.
But the truth is? Mostly I sit under those wool blankets next to the fireplace, repeating positive things to myself while I cry because I do not like the snow.
I don't like winter, I don't like the dark, I don't like the cold.
I am an island girl at heart and you will NEVER hear me say it's too hot or even too humid or too sunny. Those are words that have never crossed my lips - not even at 9 months pregnant in August in a house without fans and ALL DAY SUN.
And it's hard to be the girl who cries because it's snowing.
It's hard to explain when people text and ask how we are enjoying the snow.
It's hard to explain to my kids who just want me to play with them
It's hard to explain to my husband who just wants to help me feel better.
But it's real.
This post doesn't really have a moral.
There is no wrap up with a clean and neat ending.
I don't like the snow and we are in the midst of a snowy mess in the PNW and I am much more of a mess because of it. There is no fixing it until it's gone.
So until then? I lay in our bay windows and soak up the sun for hours while my babies play around me because they just want to be near me and I just need the sun to be on my face for as long as possible with my eyes closed, pretending I am somewhere the sun and I can be together forever.
See you when it ends, loves.