What if you had a gift?
An amazing, terrible, awesome, painful, wonderful gift?
What if other people affirmed that gift?
What if they heard it in your voice and see it in your body and feel it in your soul?
What you still kept this gift hidden from the rest of the world because it was too amazing, too terrible, too awesome, too painful, too wonderful?
What if even when other people brought the gift up, you squashed it back down?
What if you were worried this gift might make people judge you or look at you differently?
What if your bravery built itself up and you finally allowed your gift to peek out of the box and you were rejected?
What if that rejection affirmed all your worries and you began to tell yourself you imagined having your gift? That your gift was too amazing, too terrible, too awesome, too painful, and too wonderful to ever be allowed out and that you were not big enough to contain it?
I have such a gift.
I was releasing blogs consistently until last month.
I even had blogs all set to release, but I cancelled them. They all felt wrong all of the sudden. I was writing a Keynote speech for an event and I could feel big things happening in me that I needed to keep close until they were ready.
I could feel something rising, big magic reaching down inside me and coaxing my gift out from where I had hidden it. And I could feel myself needing to retreat away from everyone, incase the magic accidentally bothered someone - I am precious like that. The magic made my voice louder and my fear smaller. The magic made gave me more confidence to stand my ground and more compassion for those who might misunderstand. The magic opened my eyes and my ears so that I could see and hear my gift more clearly. The magic allowed me to get bigger and not concern myself with whether or not it would upset some. And rather than leaving once it had teased me out of my self, it stayed. It bonded to my body and my mind and my spirit and became a part of me.
Things are changing for me and I am becoming.
I am becoming less afraid of my gift.
I am becoming more confident.
I am becoming more magic.
And I am excited to share the gift and the magic with you.
More soon, dearlings.